dear non friends,

i deleted some people off my friends list. if your curious why i deleted you, or you just curious in general...i deleted people because im tired of their ignorance.

i truely believe that i treat people very fucking sweet and im not taking your ignorance anymore, i deserve better...much better.

So goodbye.

yea im sad.  after i went off and made my sister her Silver Vinyl skirt..and i made my skirt  , she ends up calling me at the last minute and say shes not up to going tonight.  So im like oh okay..no problem.. ya know since i pay bills around here too, i would think chris would let me take his car (and lets not forget to mention hes riding around in my gas money....) ..but nooooooooo he doesnt. but thats okay asshole because im turning the cable off...its in my name.."its my cable" so i say so. blake has his videos...so he wont do without. its really fucked up, chris was suppose to fix the oil leak in my car..but no he didnt, and now my car is dead in front of my moms house, i have no car, no nothing, and i cant get anywhere.  so now i have to some way come up with money to get a new car.   ya know chris did u forget your a mechanic????? fucker.

im 22 years old and im trapped in my own life.  i cant wait to get out of here...god , i cant wait. within the next few weeks ill be able to move back to my moms...i just cant go empty handed..which I always HAVE NOTHING. the little money i make it fucking has to go towards this and that and i never get to save.  oh get this shit.  all week chris has me thinking that He has NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo money in the bank. so for emergencies i was like oh okay we'll use my credit card...so i got diapers, gas in his car, and other heres and theres that we needed. And since i had no cash, and chris claimed he had no money i couldnt take blake to daycare all week, which i feel horrible because he likes to go and play with the kids.   well this morning chris turns around and says oh i have 70.00 in the bank. and im like WTF yo! i just paid off this damn credit card and now im in debt all over again because he claims he has nothing and has me worried..but no the mother fucker does have money in the account, and now im in debt. I let him use my credit card to put gas in his car.  I have a very very small limit on my card and i told him to put only spend a certain amount, but no he goes way beyond that!!!!!!  I probally have like 5.00 dollars left on my card..IF that..IF IM LUCKY!  ......... i swear to god...i really swear to god, im so SICK of being nice to people , im gonna start being some fucked up bitch...its coming...i will start thinking of myself first, and say fuck everyone else.  im so sick and tired of his selfishness, everything is about him, he thinks of himself first.  NOT BLAKE, but Himself! 

and its not like im losing anything..i mean hes too lazy to have sex, and its like pulling teeth just to get some affection from him. but u know what asswipe fuck you. fuck you fuck you fuck you. i dont need this from you or anyone else.   ANd u know what chris i cant wait till u read this...INFACT I wil make this entry "PUBLIC" so i know for SURE you will be able to read it.

so make sure  u get this thru ur self centered mind.... -  FUCK YOU!

Current Mood: disappointed

dear me

i live for one reason

Blake.

Everything else falls apart


↔ Dont look at me

↔ Dont say you need me

↔ Dont say you want me

↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ Its understood ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔ ↔

This is Blake first birthda Cake...The photo doesnt give it justice,  it was a 2 layer Blue clues Cake.....(duh)...heheh...it was very delicious.  ^_^

BLake opening his presents.  Even tho the Air condition was running...IT was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Hot Out Today.

dark_delaware   Join Join Join

Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks MCI is a rapper.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Yo mama's so fat, her picture fell off the wall.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.



haha omg....thats some funny shit....old...but funny...lmao...ok.ok ok...back to life....

You are VNV nation.
VNV nation is a 2 man group. Ronin Harris has an
Amazing voice. Their lyrics mostly deal with
Anti War issues and or Futuristic type shit.
One of the most inspirational industrial bands
today ,although they could easily be classified
as Techno


What is YOUR industrial band?
brought to you by Quizilla

Dear all of you,

Me, Chris, Jeff, Jenny,Erin, Marcus, and tim went to shampoo lastnight. And to say as soon as i walked onto the dance floor some rat face looking girl started to point at me and whispering trash into her friend's ear. To make a long story short, she said i slapped her in the FACE!!!! HAHAHAH ME SLAP SOMEONE IN THE FACE???? That is defintely A LIE! Why would i slap someone in the face when I would of punched someone in the face?....doest make sense. Even tho i would love to admit that i slapped her in the face, but I honestly NEVER DID SUCH THING. This girl must be a real compulsive liar, or maybe she really believes her own lies. Makes no sense what so ever. When i went to the Ladies room, 2 of her friends were in there talking trash about her, saying that she hates me because i have real dreads. And they were saying how much they dislike her. Hahah what worthless little girl.

AnyWho, we left shampoo, ate some mcdonalds, threw some chochlate milk on my wall, and went to bed.

Today is Chris Birthday. Hes 22 now....big daddy you.

I made him a somewhat of a breakfast, i cant cook to save my life. But i tried. ...well i have to go, chris wants some hot wings.

I love ya .

Current Mood: tired

Dear members,

I just got off the phone with one of Chris aunts from the Benton side, which is chris father side, she told me sooo much of the Benton family, and what idda know chris acts just like his father did. you love to hate him. We exchanged address phone numbers of his sisters and brothers, and i told her a little more about Chris. Soon enough Chris will get the urge to talk to them. I would like to go to the North Carolinas to see them, and chris did talk about going down there, i think it would be a great experience for us both.

besides all that, Chris is still getting on my fukn nerves. I dont know why i do things for him, such as finding his family. Maybe i really do care about him deep down inside? But lately, hes just been really really really a JERK. Some times i feel that i dont even want to be with him, actually i been feeling like that all the time. Just when think how could things get any worse with him, they do. He has no consideration for me, he doesnt think nor care that the ignerant things he says about me hurts me really bad. Hes just a jerk. ANy girl that wants him can come take him. Im about fed up with him.

Yea anywho. I need to finish my skirt.

Current Mood: cranky

P.S Oh yea one more thing, Chris just spoiled me Rotten today.. He bought me a new Computer desk.


Thanks again chris, I love you.


xoxo

dear people,


Lastnight, me and jeff went too Jo Ann Fabrics. It was great. I looooooooooooooove that store! even tho the people working in there were ignerant asswipes. I bought some dark pink fuscia color vinyl, a name brand of fabric glue (the one i had was on the cheap-o- side) and also this hot pink fluffy thing. Im going to make a skirt, and its going to be extremely fabulous, infact everyone will envy me. Chris looks at the material, and says " it looks like a shower curtain" hahha he so cute, but brilliant at the same time. After I got sick of the old shower curtain in my bathroom, im going to turn that one into something awesome. Maybe a dress? I dont know, i cant get a head of myself. But i think im going to start my skirt tonight, i tried to start it lastnight but chris was getting on my nerves, he kept bitching about how i was republican. So what that i dont like democrats, i dont believe in what they believe. And of Course Chris had to make such a big deal about it, and he nerved racked me soooo F'n bad i just went to bed. Speaking of lastnight, me and jeff and chris sat around the house and had some drinks. Chris decides to start prank calling people, cause ya know were only "15" years old again. But Chris does the most funniest prank calls, that boy will have you rolling. ::in chris chinese lady voice:: "you order chinese pizza? i deliver to you house no1 answered" omg it was so Funny. That was pretty much of the night. some other basic ideas not mentioned, but i dont have the time to explain them, i have a baby screaming at me.

Oh yea thats reminds me, i got in contact with the Bentons!! Yay...more info on that later.

~ me ~

Dear readers,

My project, POlk-Henry House, has made it to the NewsJournal! IM so proud!


http://www.delawareonline.com/newsjournal/local/2004/03/04polkhenryhouseg.html



This home has been such a desire of mine for a loooooooong time. I can still remember the first time I ever seen that place. Before i was with Chris, the days me and Jeff use to hang out all the time, he brought me to this place and we were gonna try to get in, cause he told me such stories of the home. Of course we didnt get in. But i knew that wasnt the end of that home....then i met Chris and i got even more information about the place. So i would say for about 2 years i been loving this place. And it made it to the newspaper! Yay, of course i have my own copy of it , and soon as chris is done reading it, it will be added to my collection. I love this place. I even typed a letter to Paul Law, asking if I could assist in anyway! Omg im excited....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Dear everyone, and the rest of you,

Today, i busted my ass in cleaning this house. I scrubbed down the kitchen with Bleach and pine glow (its from the dollar store..haha) I also mopped the floor...and i dusted, cleaned, and vacummed my ass of in the living room, and still managed to take care of blake. Tomorrow is laundary day, and im taking 4 baskets (again) to chris mom house, since we dont have a washer and dryer yet. I cant believe all of this laundry, im saying 4 baskets is alot for 3 people. sheesh. I cooked dinner, and chris decided to order chinese. He doesnt like what i cooked. I made rice mixed with chicken and vegtables, with gravy. I like it, but then again chris isnt a vegtable person. So we got Chinese. And OMG OMG OMG it is Delicious, im glad that they give you more then enough so i can eat it for breakfast. So yea, i also made Blakes curtains today for his room. I just have one part to hem up , which i will do before i go to bed. Then i have to start on Jeffs Shirt. I really need to figure out how im going to cut these letters out. I want to this to be perfect. But how can a imperfect person create something perfect?
Who knows, im such a mom.